Sunday, May 20, 2007

Being Attached

Around an hour ago, Angie asked for my permission to go with her friend, Fitri. Fitri wanted to buy a pair of shoes in the (maybe LOL) oldest traditional market in Semarang, Johar market. I let her go while warning her to be careful because Johar market is familiarly known as full of thieves.
This is Sunday May 20, 2007. These past a few months, Sunday afternoon has become our time to go to the cyber cafe. Angie asked me to tell her whether I would really go to one cyber cafe and she would ask Fitri to take her there after she finishes doing what she wants to do in Johar market. 
Of course I am accustomed to being alone at home. I am accustomed to going to the cyber cafe by myself too, without Angie joining me. However, I recognize that I start to feel not really uncomfortable when I want to go somwhere (that I don’t usually visit) without Angie with me. For example, when I want to go sightseeing in malls (that I very rarely do), I always ask her to accompany me. Recently, this plan often failed to be done because Angie said, “Instead of going sightseeing in Citraland Mall, how about if we go online?” So, we went to the cyber cafe instead.
Going back to Angie’s going with Fitri, it made me think of what people usually say (stereotyping huh? Probably!) about teenagers’ life when they are in their senior high school period. They will love to be with their buddies more than with their family members. During my time at senior high school, yes, I usually went somewhere with my schoolmates. My younger sisters were still very young at that time. I was not very close to my big brother. Besides, he belongs to homebody type while during my younger years I belonged to happy-go-lucky type.
I am wondering if it is high time for Angie to think that way too. She would love to go anywhere with her schoolmates rather than with me. She would choose to accompany her friends rather than to accompany me. I will be very unhappy.
I realize that Angie is the only FRIEND I have at the moment. And this afternoon I started to realize how closely I am attached to her.
“It is not good to be attached to someone very much, Nana,” my Abang told me. Not even to him. Not even to my very own daughter either, perhaps.
I was born in this world alone, although my birth was very much expected by my two dearest parents. This means I will always have to be ready to be all alone.
PT56 13.28 200507

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Angie dan Nana

Hari pertama libur sekolah karena kelas III SMA sedang sibuk berkutat dengan ujian sekolah kemarin, Angie dan teman-teman sekelasnya janjian nonton SPIDERMAN 3. Istilah yang mereka pakai adalah NOMAT = NONTON HEMAT. Kalau biasanya untuk menonton film di bioskop seseorang perlu merogoh koceknya uang sejumlah Rp. 20.000,00, untuk NOMAT, seseorang hanya perlu mengeluarkan uang Rp. 12.500,00.
Seperti biasa, Angie janjian dengan sobat yang dikenalnya sejak di bangku SD untuk berangkat bersama. Angie akan nyamperin Nana. Di sana menurut rencana gebetan Nana akan menjemput mereka berdua dan berangkat bersama ke bioskop yang terletak di pusat kota Semarang, Simpang Lima.
Namun sepulang aku dari fitness center, sekitar pukul 09.00 Angie komplain kepadaku tiba-tiba Nana membatalkan janji itu dan tidak jadi ikut nonton dengan teman-teman sekelasnya. Karena Nana tidak menjelaskan apa alasan tiba-tiba dia membatalkan janji lewat sms, Angie meneleponnya. Angie menjadi lebih kecewa ketika Nana hanya mengatakan, “Aku ga ikut. Titik.” Dan membanting pesawat teleponnya. Angie berusaha menelpon lagi, tapi telepon tidak ada yang mengangkat. Angie menelpon nomor mobile Nana yang berjumlah tiga biji, semua non aktif.
“Orang tua Nana ga ngijinin dia pergi nonton bareng teman-teman sekelas barangkali,” aku berusaha menentramkan Angie yang menjadi sewot. “Kan Angie bilang orang tuanya strict banget? Dia ga boleh pergi dengan teman laki-laki?”
“Lah, kan dia bakal pergi dengan Angie Ma? Meskipun memang di bioskop kita janjiannya nonton bareng teman-teman sekelas.”
“Mungkin menurut orang tuanya sama aja dengan dia pergi dengan teman laki-laki.” Jawabku.
“Kalau Angie pikir sih tentu hal ini berhubungan dengan gebetannya. Mungkin dia tidak jadi ikut?” tebak Angie.
“Kalau dia ga jadi ikut, kan ga papa? You will still have fun together with your classmates, right?” jawabku.
“Entahlah Ma. Angie masih kesel nih gara-gara Nana membanting telepon tadi.”
Kemudian aku menawari Angie untuk mengantarnya ke gedung bioskop tempat dia janjian dengan teman-teman sekelasnya. But Angie refused. Dia bilang seorang teman sekelas lain akan datang untuk menjemputnya.
-----
Hari Selasa 15 Mei 07 aku menginjakkan kaki di rumah pukul 09.15 sepulang dari kolam renang. I found Nana in the living room together with Angie doing their school assignment together. Her mother took her here.
At 12.15 her mother picked her up.
“See honey? Nana was not angry with you yesterday although she hang up the phone.” I said to Angie setelah Nana pulang. Dan dia tersenyum tersipu.
“So, what made her cancel the plan with you?” I asked her.
“Her parents did not let her go.” Jawab Angie.
“I think her parents had better come back to their ancestors’ native country, Arab. Di sana sampai saat ini masih banyak perempuan yang dipenjara di balik tembok rumah mereka yang megah.” Komentarku.
Dan Angie hanya meringis.
-----
Aku ingat nasibku sebagai anak perempuan pertama dari orang tuaku. Nana, sobat Angie semenjak SD itu anak kedua, namun anak perempuan pertama, sama denganku. Kebetulan kita berdua memiliki kakak laki-laki yang lebih homebody type ketimbang outgoing type. Kakak laki-laki Nana lebih pasif dalam hal mengikuti kegiatan ekstra kurikuler di sekolah, sama dengan kakakku.
Pingitan yang hampir sama dulu juga sering kualami. Aku lebih bebas mengikuti kegiatan ekstra kurikuler dibanding Nana. Di bangku SMP dengan memohon-mohon yang amat sangat, aku diperbolehkan ikut karate. Kadang latihan karate yang diadakan berbarengan dengan ranting/cabang lain sekotamadya Semarang boleh kuikuti. Tapi kalau latihan itu di luar kota, atau mungkin menginap satu malam di sekolah, atau di tempat lain, jangan bermimpi aku akan diperbolehkan ikut.
Di bangku SMA, karena ngikut seorang teman sekelas yang aktif di pramuka, aku diperbolehkan ikut kegiatan itu. Tapi untuk camping, jelas tidak boleh aku ikut. Kekangan tidak boleh ini tidak boleh itu yang membuatku mendaftar UGM diam-diam waktu ada tawaran Penelusuran Minat dan Kemampuan (PMDK) untuk siswa kelas III SMA. Aku ingin lepas dari kontrol orang tua untuk menentukan apa yang ingin kulakukan.
Walau aku tidak menyukai konfrontasi terbuka, aku lebih rebellious dibandingkan Nana, sobat Angie itu. Berangkat dari pengalamanku sebagai remaja yang tidak boleh ini tidak boleh itu—yang berarti aku selalu dianggap masih terlalu muda/kecil untuk menentukan apa yang ingin kulakukan—aku memperlakukan Angie sebaliknya. Kita memiliki komunikasi yang terbuka dibandingkan dengan aku dan kedua orang tuaku.
“I wish my mom were as liberal as your mom,” sering Nana berkata seperti ini kepada Angie.
“I wish my mom had as much money as your mom,” mungkin Angie berkata begitu kepada Nana? LOL. LOL.
The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.
PT56 11.38 160507

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

My shared Room with Angie

Talking about a room of one’s own as a physical place, in fact I don’t have one. I have to share a bedroom with my Lovely Star, my dearest daughter Angie. Since I moved back to this dwelling place more than a year ago after I graduated from American Studies Graduate Program, we have occupied this room together. Of course right now I don’t have as much privacy as when I lived in Yogya to pursue my study.
This bedroom, 3 x 4 m is also our study. Luckily we have our own respective schedule to be private. In the morning when Angie goes to school, the room is fully mine. I can do anything I want without being distracted by her. In the afternoon/evening when I am at work, this time is Angie’s turn to fully occupy the room with the desktop. After I go home from work, usually after 9pm, it depends on Angie’s schedule. When she has lots of homework or assignments from school that sometimes need to be carried out using the desktop, I will just read newspaper in the living room, or sometimes scribble in my cutie notebook in the bedroom also when I need to pour out things crowding my mind. After Angie finishes, she will go to bed and I can use the desktop. Sometimes Angie lets me work till late at night, sometimes she complains the lamp’s light that disturbs her. She loves to sleep in the dark. When she is spoilt like that, and begs me to turn off the desktop and the lamp and I go to bed with her, I sometimes give in. And both of us will enjoy talking to each other before we fall asleep. However, some other time, when I really need to write something, I have to ignore Angie’s beg to go to bed at the same time with her.
A problem will come when Angie has a long holiday from her school. In the morning, the time for me to enjoy my privacy in our bedroom, I have to lose some privacy. As my only daughter of course she does not have anybody else to have a chat with but me at home. I always have to lend my ears to her for that. I love it. However, I also will feel that my privacy is disturbed.
Is it high time for me to provide another room so that we have our own respective bedroom and study?
PT56 14.05 150507

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Angie libur

Angie is having one week holiday due to the examination her seniors have to face from May 14-19 May 2007. She is happy so that she does no need to wake up early in the morning to prepare herself to go to school. LOL.
I am happy so that I do not need to wash clothes everyday. If Angie goes to school, I need to wash clothes almost everyday to wash her school uniform so that she can wear clean uniform that smells good everyday. FYI, she only has two pairs of white and blue uniform she has to wear from Monday till Thursday and also on Saturday. On Friday she wears her scout uniform.
I am also happy so that I can go to Paradise Club earlier everyday. It means that I will have longer time to enjoy being alone with books I want to read and the cutie where I can scribble anything. At the same time, I can enjoy a cup of cappuccino or Nescafe.
However …
There is possibility that she will distract my concentration when I want to type in the desktop at home after going back from PC because Angie is at home. She always needs to talk to me. I love it of course because we often have fun when confiding in each other. But yeah … when I have an idea that needs to be written as soon as the idea comes to me, listening to Angie can make the idea go away again peacefully. Not to mention when Angie also needs to use the desktop to do what she wants.
Ah … I almost forget. I have the cutie to scribble when Angie is busy doing something with the desktop. LOL.
You know, sometimes I am forgetful. It is very humane, isn’t it? Or am I just giving an excuse? LOL.
PT56 13.15 130507

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

My Darling Angie

“You have only one daughter? I bet she must be a spoilt girl.” A chat friend said to me around three years ago.
“I assume I don’t spoil her although she is my only daughter.” I responded.
As far as I remember, I have never spoilt Angie since she was a little. What I have done to her is just common things other mothers do toward their children: preparing her meals, making some drinks she wants, washing her clothes and iron them, etc.
I have taken her to school and pick her up from school since she went to kindergarten. At that time, her kindergarten was located quite close from home, around 500meters. Different from other kids who cried when their mothers/nannies/baby sitters left them at school during the first days, Angie didn’t cry. She was confident enough. Why I lingered at school during her first days at school, well, I think it is perhaps similar to other parents who are excited when their children enter the following stage in their lives. I was excited to see Angie start going to school. I was amazed to see my only daughter grow up so that I wanted to see her routines at school. But after the excitement was over, of course I didn’t linger at her kindergarten anymore.
Graduating from kindergarten, during her school holiday, Angie took an English course. I wanted her exposed to English since she was very young. Since the first day, I only took her to the English course, and then I was off to my office, without lingering there.
Her elementary school was located quite far from home, perhaps around 3 kilometers. I found another excitement too in her first days at elementary school so I remember twice or three times I lingered for some minutes in front of the school, only to see her joining the raising flag ceremony and doing some sports at school, wearing her elementary school uniform.
I agree with what people say that excitement we have from being a parent is really special, different from other excitements we get from other experiences in our lives. Seeing someone having flesh and blood coming from us grow up really cannot be substituted by any other things. This is absolutely my opinion. 
The same excitement I felt when Angie went to the junior high and senior high school. Seeing her wearing her different uniform (from elementary school to junior high and then senior high school) is really exciting for me. The different uniform she wears reminds me how time flies, she grows up. And I do too. LOL.
Btw, when she was in elementary school fifth grade, I decided to pursue my study out of town. At first, I planned to take her with me to Yogya, but she refused. She enjoyed her friendship with her classmates and some neighbors, one thing that she was worried she wouldn’t find in Yogya. During the first semesters, I went home only for one or two nights after staying for two or three weeks in Yogya. She did not complain.
FYI, although I claim myself as a feminist, thinking that a woman can do anything, can pursue anything without being burdened by any other thing (such as responsibility as a mother who has to take care of the children most of the time, according to the conventional patriarchal views), I could not deny that deep inside my heart I sometimes felt a bit guilty to leave Angie for two or three weeks without taking care of her by myself. Therefore, when I went back to Semarang, I would do my best to do anything to please her, to tie the emotional bonds between us. One thing that I always loved doing was to prepare her meals, spoon feed her while we ate together from one plate. I must say that it was one of my favorite time.
There was one main reason why I loved spoon-feeding her when she was a little. Angie didn’t like eating vegetables. To make her eat vegetables, I had to spoon-feed her, to talk to her while doing it so that she wasn’t really aware that I put the vegetables into her mouth. Tricky mom, eh? LOL.
Meanwhile, my mom doesn’t like to see me spoon-feeding Angie. “Angie is too big to be spoon-fed. Let her eat by herself. She cannot be independent for that.”
I cannot just leave this habit, though. As I have written above, I always love the feeling I have when doing it, to tie the emotional bonds between Angie and me. Therefore, we often do it secretly so that my mom doesn’t see us doing it. LOL. Especially in the morning, I always spoon-feed her in our bedroom while she prepares her books before going to school. Or when she has assessments from school, I spoon-feed her while she is studying.
I have finished my Graduate Program. I no longer need to leave Angie for quite a long time. But I still cannot forget the somewhat guilty feeling to leave her to pursue my study out of town. That’s why although she is sixteen years old now, I still prepare her meals, make some drinks she wants, such as a cup of coffee, tea, cappuccino, etc. I really love and enjoy doing it. But of course when I come home from work feeling tired, I will not do it. I even ask her to help me do this and that.
There is still another somewhat guilty feeling I keep in my heart: my decision to leave Angie’s dad because I feel that I deserve to choose what kind of life I want to have. This decision of course influences Angie’s life too. She has to live with single parent, one thing that is not really coveted in patriarchal culture that still adores a happy nuclear family consisting of mother and father plus the children. Frankly speaking I am still haunted by the consensus that a mother is supposed to sacrifice her happiness for the children. I am not like that. I choose what kind of life I want to lead, I don’t want to sacrifice my happiness, and I want Angie to understand my choice. As a very understanding daughter, Angie doesn’t complain about it. She lets me choose. And me? I keep preparing her meals and drinks everyday.
PT56 23.20 080507

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Angie and Cinderella Complex

Several days ago when going back from school, Angie my only daughter told me about her close friend—her initial is N—that out of the blue had already been ‘matched’ with a boy she barely knows. Angie said that they would get married as soon as N graduated from senior high school. I was surprised and sorry to hear that although Angie had told me much before this that her best friend who happens to have Arabian blood in her body could not choose any boy to marry but her parents’ choice.
As a rebel, I thought that it was just a silly things to do in this twenty first century. A girl does not have any freedom to choose with whom she wants to marry in this twenty first century? As a rebel, I expected to hear that one day Angie would tell me that her close friend would rebel that (to me) silly ‘rule’. As a daughter, she cannot marry a boy who does not have Arabian blood. Her brother, however, can marry a girl that does not have Arabian blood.
“It is a disgrace for the family if the daughter marries a man who does not have Arabian blood. As a result, if she rebels, perhaps she will be exposed to a risk of being kicked out of the family.” This was what my superior at my workplace said some time ago. She has Arabian blood, and she married a man who does not have that blood.
Some months ago, the cousin of Angie’s close friend, the same age as Angie, (of course she has Arabian blood too in her body) was proposed by someone, and they probably will get married as soon as she graduates from senior high school. At that time, N said to her mother, “If someone proposes me later, I don’t want to get married as soon as I graduate from school. Give me time to continue my study to college first. I want to be a dentist, just like you. I don’t want to be a full and only housewife.” Unfortunately, her mother said it was all up to the husband-to-be, and his family.
And now someone has proposed her. Her parents and grandmother a kind of support her to get close to the man. Apparently N’s complaint—that she wants to go to college first before getting married—was not heard by the parents.
I believe that N’s mother who luckily work as a dentist still keeps the old-fashioned way of thinking that the best profession of a woman is being a housewife; that a woman does not really have her own life because she has to obey her parents first, and then her husband plus his family.
Meanwhile after telling me about that ‘incident’, Angie asked me, “Mama, is it possible that someone does not have a match in his/her life?”
She has a crush on a boy for about two years (since she was in the third grade of junior high and now she is in the first grade of senior high and will get a promotion test next month.) She and the boy were quite close around two years ago for some months. But then they broke up. (Un)luckily they go to the same school again. They are even in the same class now. It seems to me that Angie is worried if she will not get attracted to any other boy in her life.  That’s why I told her, “Don’t worry, honey, there are abundant other cute and smart boys lining up waiting for you out there. Just be patient. Ok?”
Frankly I was kind disappointed to hear Angie saying something like her world would end if she didn’t get any boyfriend. Perhaps she thought that it would be better for her to exchange position with N? Not having freedom to choose whom she will marry is not a big deal as long as she has someone as her ‘match’.
Secretly, my Lovely Star—my loving nick for Angie, has been suffering from Cinderella Complex. She has been dreaming of a cute, charming and rich Prince will come to her, to propose her, to bring her to the so-called everlasting happy gate—marriage. One big example that a woman can feel happier and beter when living alone rather than with a life partner that ameks her lose her real identity and potential does not really work to awaken her from that dream. The big example can be seen in her own mother’s life.
The soap operas Angie has watched on television, the romance teen-lit novels she has read, they successfully have made hertrapped in that old dream.
I also said to her, “Well, in Alquran it states that God created all creatures in pairs. It seems that everybody will get a partner in his/her life. This thinking resulted in two attitudes. One positive attitude: someone will always be optimistic that he/she will find his/her soul mate, because there is someone out there created by God for him/her. the negative attitude: when someone fails to get one now and again, he/she will lose spirit to live and consider God unfair because why other people get their life partner if she/he does not get one. Perhaps it will make him/her lose his/her confidence and then mourn during the rest of his/her life. It seems like having a life partner is the only important thing in this life.”
“Stop thinking about it all the time, honey. Just focus on your study and your other talent that you can do maximally. Your teenage life will be as beautiful, either you have a boyfriend or not. Enjoy your life by doing any other useful things with me, and also with your dear friends. Besides, you still have a very long life to go.”
PC 08.05 040507

My Angie

“Pada waktu Angie berusia berapakah kamu merasakan paling sulit membesarkannya?”

Pertanyaan ini pernah diucapkan oleh seorang rekan kerja yang memberi nick anaknya Angie, sama dengan my Lovely Star, sekitar awal Februari 2007 kemarin. Aku pun telah menuliskannya dan menge-post-kannya di blog. Sekitar tiga minggu yang lalu, tatkala seorang teman milis—mbak Icha Koraag—datang ke Semarang dan kita sempat ngobrol-ngobrol, dia bertanya hal yang sama kepadaku. Aku tertegun mendengarnya, ternyata tidak hanya satu orang yang berpikiran begitu. J How did I answer that question? Sama persis dengan apa yang kutulis di blog di bulan Februari kemarin.

Sekitar dua minggu yang lalu, seorang teman blog dari India titip salam buat Angie, sambil berkata, “Take care of her wisely. She is in a crucial age to be a rebel, to rebel her parents’ or teachers’ rules.” Ketika aku menyampaikan hal ini kepada Angie, Angie nampak sedikit tertegun, “Mengapa begitu?” tanyanya. “Well ... you know honey. You always complain about your teachers, how nosy they are, also how old-fashioned they are, ga mau mengikuti perkembangan anak muda zaman sekarang, and so on, and so forth.” Angie hanya manggut-manggut.

Sementara itu ...

Angie yang juga belajar bahasa Inggris di English Course tempatku bekerja, aku tengarai kadang-kadang mulai malas berangkat. Aku tahu dia memang banyak tugas dari sekolah, pe-er, belum lagi tuntutan dari sekolah yang lumayan tinggi, nilai yang harus minimal 75 untuk setiap mata pelajaran.

Well, tatkala aku kembali ke bangku kuliah beberapa tahun yang lalu, aku ingin memberi dia contoh bahwa belajar adalah satu proses yang selalu kita alami dalam hidup ini, umur berapapun. Aku ingin dia selalu mendapatkan pengaruh positif dariku yang selalu eager to learn (do you agree with me, anyway, that it is a positive influence? J) And you know what she commented some years ago when seeing me busy reading books, preparing subjects to teach, including when Iwas busy doing the assignments from my study? “Angie ga mau bekerja jadi guru nanti. Capek belajar melulu. Apa Mama ga bosen?” GUBRAKKK!!! Kok hasilnya malah jadi begitu? LOL.

Semula aku tidak begitu memperhatikan tatkala Angie mulai merayuku agar membolehkannya tidak berangkat kursus. Tapi mulai term lalu, Januari-Maret, dia skip classes sampai lima kali. (Oh well, kebetulan memang di English Course tempatku bekerja dan tempat Angie belajar memiliki policy bahwa a student can be absent for five times in one term, and not more than that.)

Term ini—April-Juni—Angie sudah membolos tiga kali. Yang pertama alasannya, “Sekolah libur Ma, harusnya tuh kursus juga libur. Males kan?” Ups ... I didn’t like it of course. But berhubung memang dia berhak untuk tidak masuk lima kali dalam satu term, apa boleh buat? I let her stay at home. Yang kedua, dia complain alasan klisenya, banyak tugas dari sekolah yang harus dikerjakan. I was disappointed tatkala di tempat kursus, I saw her two good friends, Nana dan Mita, tidak membolos hanya karena banyak tugas dari sekolah. Kalau Nana dan Mita berangkat, mengapa Angie tidak? She couldn’t manage her time well, I assume? Selain ternyata kedua temannya itu bakal dimarahi orang tuanya kalau membolos dari kursus. (Mana pernah aku memarahi Angie?) Hari itu Angie’s class teacher sempet berpesan kepadaku agar Angie mempersiapkan diri untuk presentasi di hari berikut Angie masuk. When I told Angie about that, dia yang sedang tidur-tiduran di tempat tidur, kecapekan atau ngantuk setelah mengerjakan tugas sekolah (seperti nyokapnya, kalau dia sedang mengerjakan tugas sekolah, buku-bukunya bertebaran di atas kasur. LOL), langsung complained, “I will not come!”

Dengan sangat terpaksa aku menggunakan otoritasku sebagai orang tua (padahal aku tidak suka memilih cara ini), “You must come honey. Don’t embarrass me and yourself in front of your class teacher.” (Look!!! I showed my ego here. L)

Angie langsung heran mendengarku berbicara dengan nada authoritative begitu.

“I will help you prepare the presentation, if that makes you lazy to go to your English course.” I went on saying.

Angie was quiet for a while. Kemudian merengek meminta disiapkan something to eat and a glass of hot tea. (It was around 9pm, I went back from the office.)

Entah mengapa aku mulai mencurigai ada sesuatu yang Angie sembunyikan dariku. What has made her a bit lazy to attend her English class recently? Atau mungkin aku yang terlalu mengada-ada? Aku bakal sedih sekali kalau sampai Angie harus merasa that she needs to hide something from me, meskipun of course as a free person, she has full right to do that.

Satu hari setelah itu, sepulang sekolah she told me, “Mama, hari Rabu ini Angie ga bisa berangkat kursus. Hari Kamis ulangan Math sama KN. Gila apa kalau ga belajar sejak sore? Tolong dong bilangin Ms. Yuli.”

Aku memang mencurigainya memanfaatkan my position as a teacher to ask my colleague yang kebetulan menjadi class teacher Angie to understand her to skip classes. Meskipun of course I can do that, aku tidak menyukai hal yang bisa menjurus tindakan nepotisme ini.

Akhirnya jadilah dia sudah membolos tiga kali dari her English class this term. Kebetulan juga pada hari yang sama, all of my students who study at the same high school with Angie were absent. They must have prepared to face their assessment at school the following day.

Dan aku masih tetap curiga apakah Angie starts to hide something from me? Of course it is okay for her to do that. But I think I deserve to feel unhappy with that.

PT56 10.15 030507

My Awesome Angie

Ada satu hal yang diam-diam kukagumi dari my Lovely Star: dia bisa berteman dengan baik—bahkan bisa dibilang lumayan dekat—dengan cewe lain yang ngaku terus terang dia naksir gebetan—atau bisa juga dibilang ‘mantan cowo’ Angie. FYI, mereka pernah ‘jadian’ ketika duduk di bangku kelas III SMP.

(Btw, semoga Angie ga ngamuk-ngamuk karena aku menulis ini di blog. LOL. Anyway, it is a public secret di kelas Angie. LOL.)

In the beginning of her study at SMAN 3, Angie found out all of a sudden that boy attracted many girls’ attention, while during the time at junior high school, Angie thought she was the only one who was attracted to him, she was the only one who could see the potentiol in him (he is cute, sweet, and smart). It spurred two contradictory feelings in her. First, she was proud of her own choice (and taste). Second, she easily got jealous. “Kok tiba-tiba dia banyak yang naksir gitu Ma?’ komplain Angie sepulang dari Bantir, dalam acara sort-of penggojlokan anak-anak kelas X beberapa bulan lalu.

Salah satu cewe yang naksir that dream boy of Angie adalah teman sekelas Angie. Cewe yang berinisial A itu berusaha mengorek-ngorek keterangan tentang si dream boy ke Angie. Angie berterus terang bahwa mereka pernah jadian waktu SMP. It didn’t stop A to go on having a crush on that boy, though. Emang ga ada larangan juga ya? LOL.

I imagine if I were in Angie’s shoes, I wouldn’t be able to make friend closely with A. But my lovely Angie is quite friendly, helpful, and receptive to her. She even lent her ears to A when A needed someone to confide in, including their dream boy. J

Some months after they befriended at SMA N 3, A started to feel sort of broken-hearted when the dream boy didn’t “shoot” her, while she was a bit sure that he also had a crush on her. (Apparently it is a shameful thing for A if a girl “shoots” a boy first so that the only thing she can do just wait and wait.) Wanting to have someone she called as her boyfriend, she accepted another boy’s offer to be his girlfriend.

Angie seemed relieved when A told her that she already had a boyfriend. She did not need to compete with another girl to get special attention from her dream boy. J I was relieved too to see that. J As usual, a mother is always on the child’s side, right? J

Having someone to be called as her boyfriend would make A stop having a crush on the dream boy. I believe this is what Angie expected from A. However, Angie was wrong. Secretly A still tried to approach that boy. She was still obsessed by him, I assume. J When one day Angie’s classmate told her what A did to the dream boy—something quite intimate, according to Angie—in a certain occasion that Angie didn’t attend, Angie was screwed.

“How could she do that to me?” Angie confided in me. “Also how could she betray her boyfriend? If she still has a crush on my dream boy, why did she accept another boy’s offer to be his girlfriend?”

“She is curious how it feels like to have someone as a boyfriend. Teenagers around your age will feel proud when they have someone they call as a boyfriend or girlfriend, right? And your dream boy is a shy one to “shoot” a girl. That’s why she accepted another boy’s offer.” I tried to explain to Angie.

“Why did she betray me? I am very good to her.” complained Angie.

“I am sorry to say that she didn’t betray you. That dream boy is not your boyfriend yet.”

Angie seemed disappointed to hear me say so.

“You know what honey? I admire you because you make good friend with her although you can consider her as your rival to win your dream boy’s heart. That’s awesome. Why? I don’t think I can do it, to make friend with the one that has a crush on a boy I like, moreover she tries to beat you openly.”

My Lovely Star seemed dumb-founded to hear me say that. Quietly, she said, “You know what Mama? My best friend also said the same thing to me.”

“Look, honey. You are really awesome!”

Several weeks has passed.

And everyday my Lovely Star goes home from school telling me her experience at school, including how good and helpful she is to A. Angie really has no place for grudge in her heart?

And I am amazed how I can have such a daughter?

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